I am not a bad man. Despite the shift work, the abuse and confrontation inherent working in front-line medicine I generally maintain an even temperament.
However, overnight I was confronted by an angry and aggressive middle-aged male weighing 183kg (400lb). His behaviour was intolerable, exemplified by a tirade of rude and inappropriate comments to the nursing staff and failure to use a mandated receptacle to contain his urethral eliminations (choosing instead to graphically represent his apellation on the cubicle wall from over his bed-rails).
In order to address this issue and calmly take control of the situation I strode into his cubicle and attempted to say – “Sir, your behaviour is causing offense. Would you kindly refrain from being so abusive to the nursing staff”. However, confronted by the gentleman’s incredible Falstaffian girth I inadvertently blurted:
Mate, pipe down and stop being so obesive…
Following this Freudian slap there fell a moment of calm as silence embraced semantic cerebration and basked in the adulation of the neologistic choir….then all Hell broke lose as a torrent of vehemence and angst united on a new adversary.
| ə(ʊ)ˈbiːsiv |
- adjective – Fat and Angry
- descriptive term for corpulent persons prone to using insulting, coarse or derogatory language
Associate Professor Curtin Medical School, Curtin University. Emergency physician MA (Oxon) MBChB (Edin) FACEM FFSEM Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital. Passion for rugby; medical history; medical education; and asynchronous learning #FOAMed evangelist. Co-founder and CTO of Life in the Fast lane | Eponyms | Books | Twitter |