EMI 020 Anticholinergic Daddy
More Anticholinergic Medical Humor and Emergency Musical Interludes… with Ed Schaefer
Lyrics
One day I had some atropine,
Hyoscine, benztropine and an antihistamine,
I really thought that I would mess with my acetylcholine that day,
So I whipped down a bunch of TCAs,
Ooh yeah I was chillin’ out with the boys,
Making tea from belladonna alkaloids,
My skin grew warm and my mouth got dry,
I was confused but I didn’t know why,
The beasts weren’t there but you know I was seeing them,
I had a ripper anticholinergic delirium.
I’m hot like hades, red as a beet,
Mad as a hatter I’m coming down your street,
Blind as a bat and dry as a bone,
I’m your anticholinergic daddy and I’m coming home.
When I got to the triage desk,
My GCS was ten, I must confess I was a mess,
With a mydriasis I was agitated and snappy,
And my heart rate wasn’t the only thing that was tachy,
I was hypotensive, hyperthermic with a tachypnoea,
Decreased bowel sounds, I was never gonna have diarrhea,
And that was it from you,
You sent me to resus with an ATS of two.
I’m hot like hades, red as a beet,
Mad as a hatter I’m coming down your street,
Blind as a bat and dry as a bone,
I’m your anticholinergic daddy and I’m coming home.
First step in the plan was to chill out the man,
With a truckload of diazepam,
You gave me oxygen an ECG and an IV,
Cardiac monitoring and an IDC,
I was in retention,ooh yeah, you had to hussle,
I had a muscarinic blockade of my detrusor muscle,
And I knew it did not please ya,
When I started to seizure,
You had to placate me, sedate me, intubate me, and barbiturate me,
I know you hate me but please don’t forget to ventilate me,
Yeah that was it from you,
And you sent me up to ICU.
Bridge and improvised ramblings
And all the while, you paralysed me, but you forgot to sedate me,
So I was awake the whole time, like being awake under the surgeons knife,
And all I can remember is this bald guy shining a light in my eyes, again and again.
I’m gonna look for him when I get out….and you too.
They extubated me on day two or day three,
After some torsades and a run of VT,
There was much debate among the team,
But they held off on the physostigmine,
And just when you were getting bored,
They rushed me down to see you in the obs ward,
And you said – I’ll see you later my anticholinergic man,
I’ll see you later, I’ll try and avoid you if I can.
I’m hot like hades, red as a beet,
Mad as a hatter I’m coming down your street,
Blind as a bat and dry as a bone,
I’m your anticholinergic daddy and I’m coming home.
