With exponential Emergency Department over-crowding and spiraling waiting times, the Utopian College has produced a series of guidelines to assist fondling members.
Utopian Medicine
Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).
The Evolution of Utopian Medicine
Defining the history of Utopian Medicine and the Utopian Intervention Zone can be challenging. Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson has commissioned this graphical representation to outline the pertinent factors influencing the meteoric rise of the Utopian Medicine movement.
Waiting Room Neurology
UCEM Pivotal Observational Study (n=1) for application of intra-Waiting Room Sphenopalatine Ganglion Block (iWR-SPGB)
Chicken or the Egg?
Which came first – the chicken or the egg? Despite millennia of extensive research, evidential debate and philosophical procrastination the answer to this riddle still remains a mystery…or does it?
Interview with the UCEM President
Today the UCEM released the first in a series of interviews by Hilda Lutenblag with Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson the Third – President and primary fondling member of the Intergalactic Federation of the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine.
World Cup Fever WCF
World Cup Fever: pathological condition where healthy individuals manifest augmented physical responses in the presence of minor noxious stimuli.
Defibritazer BP50KV
It is a situation you, as the UCEM Waiting Room trainee sees every day. An 86 year old Gold Card holder on a pillow in the Imminent Collapse Unit is looking agitated and psychotic. She is riddled with track marks, and it is clear that she has just shot her last Compo cheque up her arm. […]
Supremus Totus Vindicatum Haud Officium
MUPPET Mastermind and the UCEM principal motto…Supremus Totus Vindicatum Haud Officium
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