Category UCEM

Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).

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Waiting Room Medicine

With exponential Emergency Department over-crowding and spiraling waiting times, the Utopian College has produced a series of guidelines to assist fondling members.
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The Evolution of Utopian Medicine

Defining the history of Utopian Medicine and the Utopian Intervention Zone can be challenging. Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson has commissioned this graphical representation to outline the pertinent factors influencing the meteoric rise of the Utopian Medicine movement.
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Chicken or the Egg?

Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Despite millennia of extensive research, evidential debate and philosophical procrastination the answer to this riddle still remains a mystery...or does it?
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Interview with the UCEM President

Today the UCEM released the first in a series of interviews by Hilda Lutenblag with Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson the Third - President and primary fondling member of the Intergalactic Federation of the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine.
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World Cup Fever WCF

World Cup Fever: pathological condition where healthy individuals manifest augmented physical responses in the presence of minor noxious stimuli.
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Defibritazer BP50KV

It is a situation you, as the UCEM Waiting Room trainee sees every day. An 86 year old Gold Card holder on a pillow in the Imminent Collapse Unit is looking agitated and psychotic. She is riddled with track marks, and…
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UCEM OSCE SCENARIO 2020

After years of preparation, extensive reading, sleepless nights, marriage breakdowns and caffeine – your week of being show ponies has arrived as the F.UCEM examinations are upon us. Giving hope to those who pray to the Utopian FSM we have…
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UCEM OSCE SCENARIO 2019

After years of preparation, extensive reading, sleepless nights, marriage breakdowns and caffeine – your week of being show ponies has arrived as the F.UCEM examinations are upon us. Giving hope to those who pray to the Utopian FSM we have…
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UCEM to Save the NHS

Egerton Y. Davis IV, Head of UCEM's Demographically Impartial Public & Social Health Improvement Taskforce, made an important announcement today. Davis said that his team have been allocated the task of saving Britain's National Health Service.