Category UCEM

Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).

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UCEM Guidelines on Resuscitation

With the International Liaison Committee on Resuscitation (ILCOR)'s worksheets now being made available for viewing as part of a worldwide effort involving hundreds of dedicated researchers working together over many years, UCEM has decided to preempt the next iteration of guidelines by creating their own.
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Waiting Room Gynaecology

As part of the ongoing review into Waiting Room design, the Council Executive of the UCEM would like to thank fondling members for the myriad of practical suggestions presented during the recent ‘Waiting Treatment Forum‘. One of the leading presentations…

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UCEM Mission Statement

UCEM founded on the knowledge and skills required for the prevention, diagnosis and management of acute and urgent aspects of illness affecting patients
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Prof Staghorn joins UCEM

Professor Inglebert Struvite Staghorn hails from the village of Calyxia nestled on the anaconda-infested shores of the Amazon River. Although the young Staghorn's missionary parents encouraged him to study the healing arts, he instead discovered a taste for the art of no-holds-barred fighting...
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After years of preparation, extensive reading, sleepless nights, marriage breakdowns and caffeine – your week of being show ponies has arrived as the F.UCEM examinations are upon us. Giving hope to those who pray to the Utopian FSM we have…

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Future of UCEM Decided

Today, at Enlightenment Boulevard near Pyongyang, standing before a joyous throng, Egerton Y. Davis IV made a momentous announcement.
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UCEM Promises Communication Training

Although UCEM are reassured that their ELF regimen for weight loss is gradually gaining wider acceptance, the college is concerned that the message is not being communicated according to utopian ideals.

A Potent but Weak Solution to Oil’s Peak

Known as unscientific, dangerous, potentially deadly, quackery, and other less than flattering but accurate terms, but it seems that science's attempts to dilute the false positive claims homeopathy makes only seems to make it stronger.
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Evidence-based Homeopathy

Evidence-based Homeopathy is an exciting new textbook. This exhaustive tome is essential reading for all candidates for the up-coming UCEM Fellowship.
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A New Threat Tied in to Intensive Care

Environmental selection pressures are a driving force behind adaptive processes in organisms. For instance, drug misuse is commonly blamed for the rise of multi-resistant drugs and the disposal of large amounts of nylon in India giving rise to nylonase enzymes.…

Jack Dee nomination for F.UCEM

Excitement is building as post-prandial somnolence evolves into austere reverence as the Utopian College Council start the protracted process of sobering up in time to announce the inaugural New Years Day Honours list. This year 50 new individuals will be officially…