Casenote Bedside Ultrasound
UCEM Publication: Initial trials with the PHAQ-OFF trial with initially promising results, did not yield a suitably discriminative outcome for widespread use and remains a research tool only.
Category UCEM
Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).
The Staghorn Challenge
Staghorn's election to the UCEM Council Executive came with a challenge - to find the hidden references to kidney stones. Here are the winners and the answers.
UCEM PR Supervisor Promoted
Egerton Yorick Davis IV was born in his ancestral home of Caughnawauga, Quebec. His early career was beset by naysayers who doubted he could ever emerge from the shadow of his great-grandfather, Egerton Y. Davis, the former US Army Captain renowned for first describing penis captivus.
Sultana-related Sentinel Event
The LITFL team have heard through the grape vine that Professor Inglebert Struvite Staghorn, at the bequest of the Society for the Prevention of Surgery, has been investigating an unfortunate episode currantly referred to as the ‘Sultana-related Sentinel Event’. A…
UCEM Selectively Research Rival Research Institute
The UCEM has today received leaked information that Wakefield is set to open his own research institute to collect evidence that supports his assumptions.
How to fail Orthopedics
Student life can be tricky and orthopedic surgeons are intimidating. If you were asked to tell a funny joke, and your grade depended on it, what would you say?
UCEM Guidelines for Orthopedics
Egerton Y Davis IV unveils the latest guidelines to be produced by UCEM, the much anticipated Guidelines for Orthopedic Surgery.
Diploma of HTFU
UCEM announce the inauguration of a new educational qualification - the DipHTFU. We also find who is the first recipient of this prestigious award...
UCEM Prepares For Mass Overdose
Egerton Y. Davis IV has urged UCEM toxicologists to be on stand-by for potentially one of the worst voluntary mass poisonings the world has seen.
UCEM says No to Softness
The Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM) is proud to announce a new policy pertaining to the discipline of peri-departmental medicine. Until now, the softest admissions - such as the Patient Without Discernible Pathology (PWDP) - have been the toughest dispositions.
UCEM Promotes ‘Toughen Up’ Pill
Following on from its campaign against Softness, the Pharmacological Hegemony of the UCEM is pleased to announce, in conjunction with TTFU Pharmaceuticals the release of its new pill.
Ever tried smoking?
Perhaps hospitals were a little hasty in becoming "smoke-free" zones - next time I lead a code I might see if anyone volunteers to be the pipe operator for a good old-fashioned tobacco smoke enema...