Category UCEM

Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).

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Casenote Bedside Ultrasound

UCEM Publication: Initial trials with the PHAQ-OFF trial with initially promising results, did not yield a suitably discriminative outcome for widespread use and remains a research tool only.
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The Staghorn Challenge

Staghorn's election to the UCEM Council Executive came with a challenge - to find the hidden references to kidney stones. Here are the winners and the answers.
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UCEM PR Supervisor Promoted

Egerton Yorick Davis IV was born in his ancestral home of Caughnawauga, Quebec. His early career was beset by naysayers who doubted he could ever emerge from the shadow of his great-grandfather, Egerton Y. Davis, the former US Army Captain renowned for first describing penis captivus.
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Sultana-related Sentinel Event

The LITFL team have heard through the grape vine that Professor Inglebert Struvite Staghorn, at the bequest of the Society for the Prevention of Surgery, has been investigating an unfortunate episode currantly referred to as the ‘Sultana-related Sentinel Event’. A…

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How to fail Orthopedics

Student life can be tricky and orthopedic surgeons are intimidating. If you were asked to tell a funny joke, and your grade depended on it, what would you say?
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Diploma of HTFU

UCEM announce the inauguration of a new educational qualification - the DipHTFU. We also find who is the first recipient of this prestigious award...
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UCEM says No to Softness

The Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM) is proud to announce a new policy pertaining to the discipline of peri-departmental medicine. Until now, the softest admissions - such as the Patient Without Discernible Pathology (PWDP) - have been the toughest dispositions.
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UCEM Promotes ‘Toughen Up’ Pill

Following on from its campaign against Softness, the Pharmacological Hegemony of the UCEM is pleased to announce, in conjunction with TTFU Pharmaceuticals the release of its new pill.
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Ever tried smoking?

Perhaps hospitals were a little hasty in becoming "smoke-free" zones - next time I lead a code I might see if anyone volunteers to be the pipe operator for a good old-fashioned tobacco smoke enema...