Today I do not want to be a doctor
‘Today I do not want to be a doctor’ is a poem by my favorite South Auckland-born medical poet, Glenn Colquhoun. Published in ‘Playing God: Poems About Medicine’
TODAY I DO NOT WANT TO BE A DOCTOR
Today I do not want to be a doctor.
Nobody is getting any better.
Those who were well are sick again
and those who were sick are sicker.
The dying think they will live.
The healthy think they are dying.
Someone has taken too many pills.
Someone has not taken enough.
A woman is losing her husband.
A husband is losing his wife.
The lame want to walk.
The blind want to drive.
The deaf are making too much noise.
The depressed are not making enough.
The asthmatics are smoking.
The alcoholics are drinking.
The diabetics are eating chocolate.
The mad are beginning to make sense.
Everyone’s cholesterol is high.
Disease will not listen to me
Even when I shake my fist.
TODAY I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR
Today I am happy to be a doctor.
Everyone seems to be getting better.
Those who were sick are not so sick
and those who were well are thriving.
The healthy are grateful to be alive.
And the dying are at peace with their dying.
No one has taken too many pills.
No one has taken too few.
A woman is returning to her husband.
A husband is returning to his wife.
The lame accept chairs.
The blind ask for dogs.
The deaf are listening to music.
The depressed are tapping their feet.
The asthmatics have stopped smoking.
The alcoholics have stopped drinking.
The diabetics are eating apples.
The mad are beginning to make sense.
Nobody’s cholesterol is high.
Disease has gone weak at the knees
I expect him to make an appointment.
Now check out…When I Am In Doubt
Literary Medicine
…ramblings
Chris is an Intensivist and ECMO specialist at The Alfred ICU, where he is Deputy Director (Education). He is a Clinical Adjunct Associate Professor at Monash University, the Lead for the Clinician Educator Incubator programme, and a CICM First Part Examiner.
He is an internationally recognised Clinician Educator with a passion for helping clinicians learn and for improving the clinical performance of individuals and collectives. He was one of the founders of the FOAM movement (Free Open-Access Medical education) has been recognised for his contributions to education with awards from ANZICS, ANZAHPE, and ACEM.
His one great achievement is being the father of three amazing children.
On Bluesky, he is @precordialthump.bsky.social and on the site that Elon has screwed up, he is @precordialthump.
| INTENSIVE | RAGE | Resuscitology | SMACC