Self-Discipline Implantation

Thus born, the military application of the car battery would follow. Intelligence gathering operations were much more successful thanks to this humble device. Although a limited portion of this success was due to the facilitating of driving, it was a young CIA agent that  found it’s main intelligence application. As surely as V=IR, when the current was increased, the prisoners became less resistant. Unregistered prison camps beyond Red Cross access, being the humanitarian institutions they are, further detailed that uncooperative prisoners were given full discharges, electrifying them to provide information required by friendly questioners.

The humble device was found to alter cardiac activity, prisoners were tested in series and in parallel, giving rise to the Coronary Chair Unit and also the Defibritazer. As technology inexorably marched on, miniaturisation took to the debibritazer, reducing it in size, but increasing its functional specification, widened to encompass a personal incorporated cardiac device. Marketing suggested that the device was best suited for people with underlying heart conditions, like those with pacemakers. A car battery based prototype was developed and utilised on Tony Stark, after demonstrating efficacy, the military-industrial complex took to full scale production of the units.

Those with pacemakers may also suffer from cardiac conditions which weight may exacerbate, and thus the function of not regulating arrhythmias but personal choices was explored. GPS technology allows for precise location to be determined. The technology only recently became small enough to place inside a mobile phone, and therefore was decided that it was also possible to put into a pacemaker. Whilst a GPS unit in a pacemaker could be used to alert ambulances to the position of individuals having a cardiac event, it was the preventative health element that ultimately won favour with the design makers.

Behavioural aspects of heart disease were studied, there were several classes of geographical location which could be utilised as targets for the behaviour modification functionality of the devices. Chief amongst these locations was the fast-food restaurant. As doctors have rarely been able to educate people to change their behaviour (despite their futile pleas to remain alive), a more primitive form of psychological behavioural correcting and therapeutic device was deemed suitable for use by Government regulators not wanting to bear the cost of an obesity epidemic.

The TazeMaker ® is a pacemaker with “enhanced prophylactic” functionality. Upon a patient’s entering one of the GPS designated no-go zones, the TazeMaker ® releases a large shock to the patient’s heart, initially simulating (and thus far in clinical trials causing) a heart attack. It is hoped that over time this conditioning will encourage those terror suspects utilised as guinea pigs patients who have the TazeMaker ® device to live healthier lifestyles, conditional to the TazeMaker ® not demonstrating the consequences of unhealthy choices too adequately.

Modelled on the public health system, the TazeMaker ® has a significant amount of charge saved for preventative measures, followed by charge set aside for administration, and then almost next to no power set aside for core service delivery. Enhanced prophylactic functionality of the TazeMaker ® makes full use of the GPS system to attempt to shock the patient into leading a better lifestyle and thus reduce the burden on the health system. Failing this the service provision power must keep the patient alive, however due to the power given in the design to the administrative components of the device, there are seldom enough resources to perform this function adequately. Designers believe that reducing administrative power in favour of the service provision module should increase the device’s success rate astronomically, however, this is conditional upon the administrative components realising the folly of their ways. With administration leaving relatively few beds and ventilators available, TazeMaker ® engineers have advised patients not to hold their breaths just yet.

Molecular microbiologist, Post-Doc in infectious diseases research . Research focus on ESBL and carbapenemases. Current UWA Medical student | @CdrHBiscuitIII | LinkedIn |

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