Prof Staghorn joins UCEM

Professor Inglebert Struvite Staghorn hails from the village of Calyxia nestled on the anaconda-infested shores of the Amazon River. Although the young Staghorn’s missionary parents encouraged him to study the healing arts, he instead discovered a taste for the no-holds-barred fighting arts. With a reputation for ear-splitting roundhouse kicks, he emerged undefeated from the Portuguese União Júnior vale tudo championships as the foremost exponent of an unorthodox move best described as  ‘starting the lawnmower’ while gripping his opponent’s groin. Having mastered the art of making grown men cry, Staghorn entered undergraduate studies at the Universidade de Uretica e Colica where he obtained a first in Calculus.


Staghorn’s eyes were opened to the awesome possibilities of medicine after he had an unpleasant encounter with a candiru necessitating the urgent attention of a urologist. Fortunately, his protean talents, combined with the providential demise of a competing student (who sadly died of hematuria following a blow to the loin by an unknown assailant – he was buried in a crystal-lidded coffin), led him to the prestigious Universidade de Virgens e Jogadores, located a few miles south of Iliacus. Staghorn’s passage was at first slow, but it soon became clear that his caustic personality would see him attain greatness as a radiologist. Although he remained a somewhat shadowy figure in the world of roentgenography he achieved prominence with the rise of computed tomography. Indeed, he is credited with the first use of the Rolling Stones’ song “You can’t always get what you want” as call waiting music when taking calls from the ED.

Upon meeting Staghorn, Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson III ejaculated that he had found the perfect man to occupy the vacant position of Director of UCEM’s Inquisitorial Disciplinary Committee. Staghorn has also been tasked with heading the Radiology, Alcohol and Violence in Emergencies special conflict-of-interest group and coordinating the Utopian Border Patrol. Although, sometimes criticized as being something of a ‘p*sshead‘, Prof Staghorn stands by the aphorism, “You’re only an alcoholic if you drink more than your doctor”. Like all good doctors, he tends to treat himself.

Prof Staghorn’s official UCEM Council Executive Roles include:

  • Director, Inquisitorial Disciplinary Committee
  • Head of the Radiology, Alcohol and Violence in Emergencies special conflict-of-interest group
  • Coordinator of the Utopian Border Patrol
Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine

Chris is an Intensivist and ECMO specialist at the Alfred ICU in Melbourne. He is also a Clinical Adjunct Associate Professor at Monash University. He is a co-founder of the Australia and New Zealand Clinician Educator Network (ANZCEN) and is the Lead for the ANZCEN Clinician Educator Incubator programme. He is on the Board of Directors for the Intensive Care Foundation and is a First Part Examiner for the College of Intensive Care Medicine. He is an internationally recognised Clinician Educator with a passion for helping clinicians learn and for improving the clinical performance of individuals and collectives.

After finishing his medical degree at the University of Auckland, he continued post-graduate training in New Zealand as well as Australia’s Northern Territory, Perth and Melbourne. He has completed fellowship training in both intensive care medicine and emergency medicine, as well as post-graduate training in biochemistry, clinical toxicology, clinical epidemiology, and health professional education.

He is actively involved in in using translational simulation to improve patient care and the design of processes and systems at Alfred Health. He coordinates the Alfred ICU’s education and simulation programmes and runs the unit’s education website, INTENSIVE.  He created the ‘Critically Ill Airway’ course and teaches on numerous courses around the world. He is one of the founders of the FOAM movement (Free Open-Access Medical education) and is co-creator of litfl.com, the RAGE podcast, the Resuscitology course, and the SMACC conference.

His one great achievement is being the father of three amazing children.

On Twitter, he is @precordialthump.

| INTENSIVE | RAGE | Resuscitology | SMACC

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