Professor Inglebert Struvite Staghorn of the UCEM Inquisitorial Disciplinary Committee has once again been called into action by the Society for the Prevention of Surgery. He has been tasked with the investigation of reports of SPS members disappearing for excessive lengths of time during operations. The extent of the problem has been difficult to quantify given that the presence or absence of members of the SPS often goes unnoticed anyway (unless they’re eating raisins).
However, Staghorn followed his nose to the operating theatre toilets and found this:
I think you’ll agree, this case is closed.
Meanwhile, the Inquisitorial Disciplinary Committee has tasked UCEM scientists with developing appropriate punishments for fondling members that continue to experience academic strife in waiting room medicine despite all the molly coddling that UCEM provides. Staghorn feels that he needs a stick as big as Prof Stickler‘s carrot. Early studies using gummy bears in place of doctors appear promising:
After finishing his medical degree at the University of Auckland, he continued post-graduate training in New Zealand as well as Australia’s Northern Territory, Perth and Melbourne. He has completed fellowship training in both intensive care medicine and emergency medicine, as well as post-graduate training in biochemistry, clinical toxicology, clinical epidemiology, and health professional education.
He is actively involved in in using translational simulation to improve patient care and the design of processes and systems at Alfred Health. He coordinates the Alfred ICU’s education and simulation programmes and runs the unit’s education website, INTENSIVE. He created the ‘Critically Ill Airway’ course and teaches on numerous courses around the world. He is one of the founders of the FOAM movement (Free Open-Access Medical education) and is co-creator of litfl.com, the RAGE podcast, the Resuscitology course, and the SMACC conference.
His one great achievement is being the father of two amazing children.
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