Egerton Y. Davis IV spoke to an assembled horde of Genghis Khan‘s descendants in Ulaanbataar today, the first stop on the 2030 UCEM World Tour. He made a key announcement regarding the formation of the new Center for Eminence Based Medicine now operating under the auspices of the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine.
Davis IV said:
“For too long medical professionals have been slaves to the Evidence Based Medicine Leviathan. Doctors are sick of hearing the constant refrain – “But what level of evidence supports that?” – emanating from Blackballers, wannabe Devil’s Advocates and downright annoying medical students whenever they make diagnostic or therapeutic decisions.
We at UCEM, like you, the practicing doctor, lament the stranglehold that this tyrannical rule has on our profession. Clearly we need to go back to the ‘good ole days’ and create a system by which we can simplify and clarify the justifications for our decision-making based on the things that really matter.
Fortunately, our prayers have been answered. UCEM is pleased to unveil the Center for Eminence Based Medicine’s new ‘Levels of Eminence’. Let the new golden age of Eminence Based Medicine begin!
Davis IV’s presentation compared and contrasted the Centre for Evidence Based Medicine‘s cumbersome system:
…with the new streamlined and practical system developed by UCEM’s Centre for Eminence Based Medicine:
Levels of Eminence Based Advice
- Level 1 — Advice from Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson III, UCEM President
- Level 2 — Advice from an UCEM Council Executive Member
- Level 3 — Advice from an UCEM Fellow
- Level 4 — Advice from an UCEM Trainee (aka MUPPET)
- Level 5 — Something you just made up
- Level 6 — Advice from a member of a College of Medicine other than UCEM
Grades of Eminence Based Recommendation
- A — Consistent Level 1 advice
- B — Consistent Level 2 or 3 advice, or extrapolations from Level 1 advice
- C — Consistent Level 4 advice, or extrapolations from Level 2 or 3 advice
- D — Consistent Level 5 advice, or extrapolations from Level 4 advice
- E — Consistent Level 6 advice, or troublingly inconsistent or inconclusive advice of any level
UCEM hopes the medical practitioners of the world will adopt this new system with the same enthusiasm as the expert bactrian camel herders of Outer Mongolia.