After checking the patient’s observations and refitting his oxygen mask, the nurse heard the patient ask: “Are my testicles black?” The nurse raised his eyebrows, then spoke in his Scottish brogue, “I’ll check if you like”. The nurse lifted up the bed sheets, poked around for a bit, then declared,”no, they’re not black”, as he […]
A footballer has sustained an injury. The game can’t restart until the injured player has left the pitch. There is a perfectly good stretcher and two fit and healthy stretcher-bearers. The injured man is only two meters from the sideline.
With exponential Emergency Department over-crowding and spiraling waiting times, the Utopian College has produced a series of guidelines to assist fondling members.
Which came first – the chicken or the egg? Despite millennia of extensive research, evidential debate and philosophical procrastination the answer to this riddle still remains a mystery…or does it?
Today the UCEM released the first in a series of interviews by Hilda Lutenblag with Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson the Third – President and primary fondling member of the Intergalactic Federation of the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine.
World Cup Fever: pathological condition where healthy individuals manifest augmented physical responses in the presence of minor noxious stimuli.
MUPPET Mastermind and the UCEM principal motto…Supremus Totus Vindicatum Haud Officium