Comms Lab: I-Messages

Comms Lab: Episode 42

I-Messages: A Tool for Conflict Management at Work

How do we assert ourselves in a conflict without triggering defensiveness in the other person? The I-message (or I-statement) is a tool specifically for this purpose.

In this video I delve into the I-message, and provide examples for how to use this powerful tool to resolve a conflict both in the aftermath of a disagreement, and also, in the midst of a heated argument.

Got feedback for me? Great! I’m always trying to make my videos better and more relevant. Let me know what you think in the comments section, or anonymously via jotform

0:00 – Introducing the I-Message
0:37 – What is an I-Message?
2:01 – What an I-Message is NOT
3:03 – Why are I-Messages so effective?
4:29 – Example 1: After a Conflict
6:13 – Example 2: In the Midst of a Conflict
7:48 – Pitfalls (and how to avoid them)
9:48 – The Final Word


Further reading

More from the Comms Lab


Comms Lab

A path to highly effective communication skills

Hayden is an emergency physician at University Hospital Geelong and a senior lecturer at Deakin University, Geelong. He is somewhat obsessed with the science and art of effective communication, and in particular: difficult conversations. He believes that we can all get better at having difficult conversations, and that the process of learning to do so can be seriously fun.

Hayden is also an avid but terrible surfer, ad hoc gardener, and dad to two awesome kids. | LinkedIn |

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