Tag UCEM
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A Fondness of Fruit

Most of us, at one time or another, have gazed into the stratosphere and imagined clouds as familiar objects such as an animal, a face, an activity or letter of the alphabet. Such nephelococcygial activity has never resulted in my…

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Future Pathologies

Can contemporary medical economics combat the growing threat of microbes? Have we created sufficient evolutionary pressures that the microbe diseases of yesteryear and the neglected pathogens of today become a threat for us tomorrow?
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Your Management Team May Be Parasites

Management has synonymously been associated with bad decisions, selective cost cutting, raising it’s own salary and attempting to rob others of their ideas. This perception has led people to view managers as parasites, which according to new scientific data may…

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Not Backwards in going Backwards

The newly formed Southern Hemisphere Information Technology '4 brains' group have covertly implemented a series of strategies within Australian hospitals which they are confident will coagulate productivity to a state of suppuration.
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Signs of Imminent Admission

Having trouble complying with the new 4 picosecond rule introduced by UCEM? Do not fret, you can improve your department's efficiency a thousandfold by religiously employing the 'Signs of Imminent Admission' as a disposition decision aid.
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Staghorn follows his nose

UCEM's Prof Staghorn investigates the unexplained disappearances of members of the Society for the Prevention of Surgery and follows his nose to the operating theatre toilets. eels that he needs a stick as big as Prof Stickler's carrot.
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Meet the Bougie F.UCEMs

Found who are the latest esteemed practitioners of Utopian Medical Ideals to be elevated to the status of Fellow of the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine due to their meritorious suggestions for the best uses of a bougie.
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Self-Discipline Implantation

Since Count Volta first started mixing electrolyte solutions, redox reactions have driven human devices thanks to their storage of chemical energy. From small cells, it was just a matter of time before lazy and lethargic Americans, sick of manually cranking their cars demanded starter engines, and of course the humble car battery.