Automated Radiodiagnostic Security Entrance
Could UCEM have found the panacea for some of the greatest challenges facing Waiting Room Medicine? You be the judge...
Tag UCEM
A Fondness of Fruit
Most of us, at one time or another, have gazed into the stratosphere and imagined clouds as familiar objects such as an animal, a face, an activity or letter of the alphabet. Such nephelococcygial activity has never resulted in my…
Future Pathologies
Can contemporary medical economics combat the growing threat of microbes? Have we created sufficient evolutionary pressures that the microbe diseases of yesteryear and the neglected pathogens of today become a threat for us tomorrow?
Your Management Team May Be Parasites
Management has synonymously been associated with bad decisions, selective cost cutting, raising it’s own salary and attempting to rob others of their ideas. This perception has led people to view managers as parasites, which according to new scientific data may…
Stuxnet Worm targets UCEM Headquarters
Software engineers working for UCEM at the Symantec Health Institute of Technology have confirmed slugtrails of the Stuxnet worm on several of the UCEM servers.
Not Backwards in going Backwards
The newly formed Southern Hemisphere Information Technology '4 brains' group have covertly implemented a series of strategies within Australian hospitals which they are confident will coagulate productivity to a state of suppuration.
Signs of Imminent Admission
Having trouble complying with the new 4 picosecond rule introduced by UCEM? Do not fret, you can improve your department's efficiency a thousandfold by religiously employing the 'Signs of Imminent Admission' as a disposition decision aid.
Staghorn follows his nose
UCEM's Prof Staghorn investigates the unexplained disappearances of members of the Society for the Prevention of Surgery and follows his nose to the operating theatre toilets. eels that he needs a stick as big as Prof Stickler's carrot.
Meet the Bougie F.UCEMs
Found who are the latest esteemed practitioners of Utopian Medical Ideals to be elevated to the status of Fellow of the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine due to their meritorious suggestions for the best uses of a bougie.
Professor Elemental connected to IDC
UCEM recognises the meritorious wearing of fighting trousers by Professor Elemental and ZDoggMD.
Patients Without Discernible Pathology
The toughest of all dispositions is the 'patient without discernible pathology' (PWDP). What does the enlightened emergency physician do next?
Self-Discipline Implantation
Since Count Volta first started mixing electrolyte solutions, redox reactions have driven human devices thanks to their storage of chemical energy. From small cells, it was just a matter of time before lazy and lethargic Americans, sick of manually cranking their cars demanded starter engines, and of course the humble car battery.