Category UCEM

Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).

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UCEM Develops Waiting Room Video

In an effort to reduce the number of comedy Emergency Department presentations, UCEM is pleased to endorse the playing of David Shrigley's 'Don'ts' in all Australian Emergency Department waiting rooms.
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ME, ELF and UCEM

Egerton Y. Davis IV, Hygienist for the Council Executive and Head of the Demographically Impartial Public & Social Health Improvement Taskforce, held a press conference at the UCEM headquarters on Enlightenment Boulevard today.
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The Art of Sloughing

Your first referral to an inpatient team can be daunting. As a waiting room MUPPET it is often your first opportunity to put into practice lessons learned from years of medical pimping. The UCEM hopes to demonstrate through a series of video tutorials, the alternate sloughing methods employed by internal specialists. Awareness of sloughing tactics will greatly assist in refining your referral skills.
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The Levels of Eminence

Eminence Based Medicine is to enter a new golden age with the development of a new 'Levels of Eminence' system to guide clinical decision making.
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Man catches gizmonotic virus

In the future infectious diseases specialists will not only have human infections and zoonoses to deal with, but gizmonotic diseases (like computer viruses) as well.
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Ameritous Professor Broughton-D’Lirium

A/Prof Broughton-D’Lirium is a natural rabble-rouser, incapable of staying quiescent for more than one agenda item. His tirades of virulent invective usually falter when challenged by senate colleagues armed with an appropriate anti-invective agent.
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A Fondness of Fruit

Most of us, at one time or another, have gazed into the stratosphere and imagined clouds as familiar objects such as an animal, a face, an activity or letter of the alphabet. Such nephelococcygial activity has never resulted in my…

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Future Pathologies

Can contemporary medical economics combat the growing threat of microbes? Have we created sufficient evolutionary pressures that the microbe diseases of yesteryear and the neglected pathogens of today become a threat for us tomorrow?