Ever tried smoking?
Perhaps hospitals were a little hasty in becoming "smoke-free" zones - next time I lead a code I might see if anyone volunteers to be the pipe operator for a good old-fashioned tobacco smoke enema...
Category UCEM
Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).
Society for the Prevention of Surgery
UCEM investigators recently learned of the existence of a shadowy organization known as the Society for the Prevention of Surgery.
Prof Staghorn joins UCEM
Professor Inglebert Struvite Staghorn hails from the village of Calyxia nestled on the anaconda-infested shores of the Amazon River. Although the young Staghorn's missionary parents encouraged him to study the healing arts, he instead discovered a taste for the art of no-holds-barred fighting...
Future of UCEM Decided
Today, at Enlightenment Boulevard near Pyongyang, standing before a joyous throng, Egerton Y. Davis IV made a momentous announcement.
UCEM Promises Communication Training
Although UCEM are reassured that their ELF regimen for weight loss is gradually gaining wider acceptance, the college is concerned that the message is not being communicated according to utopian ideals.
A Potent but Weak Solution to Oil’s Peak
Known as unscientific, dangerous, potentially deadly, quackery, and other less than flattering but accurate terms, but it seems that science's attempts to dilute the false positive claims homeopathy makes only seems to make it stronger.
Evidence-based Homeopathy
Evidence-based Homeopathy is an exciting new textbook. This exhaustive tome is essential reading for all candidates for the up-coming UCEM Fellowship.
A New Threat Tied in to Intensive Care
Environmental selection pressures are a driving force behind adaptive processes in organisms. For instance, drug misuse is commonly blamed for the rise of multi-resistant drugs and the disposal of large amounts of nylon in India giving rise to nylonase enzymes.…
Jack Dee nomination for F.UCEM
Excitement is building as post-prandial somnolence evolves into austere reverence as the Utopian College Council start the protracted process of sobering up in time to announce the inaugural New Years Day Honours list. This year 50 new individuals will be officially…
Fellows of the UCEM embrace WHORe model
UCEM firmly believes that in the future the management of emergency patients should be outsourced and entirely orchestrated from offshore.
Biological Basis for Blood-Brain Barrier
UCEM's neurologists unveil the biological basis for the character divide between surgeons and anaesthetists. These functional neuroanatomical maps reveal all.
The Art of Sloughing
Your first referral to an inpatient team can be daunting. As a waiting room MUPPET it is often your first opportunity to put into practice lessons learned from years of medical pimping. The UCEM hopes to demonstrate through a series of video tutorials, the alternate sloughing methods employed by internal specialists. Awareness of sloughing tactics will greatly assist in refining your referral skills.