UCEM Announces Electropenogram
UCEM is pleased to announce the introduction of a new test - the Electropenogram.
Category UCEM
Utopian Medicine is a medical discipline devoted to the pre-emptive, pre-emotive and peri-departmental management of patients coordinated by the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM).
UCEM welcomes Prof Stickler
With the students mental welfare in mind, Prof Stickler uses his wry and perceptive sense of humour to great effect. For example, in the chapter on Bayesian inference his uproarious quote “10100111101101011101110001100110001100101011011010101010110100110000112” is still considered an exemplar of Euclidean literary miscellany within niche binary enclaves around the world.
UCEM Warns Against ADHD Treatment
Today, UCEM's Professor Stickler warned of the negative consequences of the current epidemic of methylphenidate and dexamphetamine used for the treatment of Attention Deficit/ Hypersensitivty Disorder (ADHD) in young people.
Reducing the Budgetary Burden of Disease
Four years ago UCEM released a prophetic publication. Updated protocols to reduce the cost of care even further will save dollars, not lives
Reducing the Future Burden of Disease
Prophylactic Euthanasia: a Public Health Initiative to Reduce the Future Burden of Disease. The ultimate transfer of responsibility over patients, and a final solution to morbidity.
UCEM position statement on alcohol and idiocy
In social outings involving idiots, alcohol was found to protect neurons against apoptosis in smarter individuals. The delay in sensory relay caused by alcohol consumption is the likely mechanism for this phenomenon.
Adaptive parasitology and free parking
Natural Killer Not Functioning to Combat Non-Presentation of MHC Due to Downstream Malfunction of Toll Like Receptor. A lesson in adaptive parasitology, and free parking. Full publication review from the Journal of Life as a Poor Science Analogy.
Casenote Bedside Ultrasound
UCEM Publication: Initial trials with the PHAQ-OFF trial with initially promising results
UCEM PR Supervisor Promoted
Egerton Yorick Davis IV was born in his ancestral home of Caughnawauga, Quebec. His early career was beset by naysayers who doubted he could ever emerge from the shadow of his great-grandfather, Egerton Y. Davis, the former US Army Captain renowned for first describing penis captivus.
UCEM Guidelines for Orthopedics
Egerton Y Davis IV unveils the latest guidelines to be produced by UCEM, the much anticipated Guidelines for Orthopedic Surgery.
Diploma of HTFU
UCEM announce the inauguration of a new educational qualification - the DipHTFU. Who is the first recipient of this prestigious award...
UCEM Prepares For Mass Overdose
Egerton Y. Davis IV has urged UCEM toxicologists to be on stand-by for potentially one of the worst voluntary mass poisonings the world has seen.